* an idea keeps on knocking. why not realise it? this question makes me think of Kay Tempst's words:
'If you bring forth what is within you | What you bring forth will save you | But if you do not bring forth what is within you | What you do not bring forth will destroy you' | It was Grace (Kay Tempest)
* conviviality | experiencing an artist working | pedagogy
as i understood, this thing was an experiment or an exploration in teaching differently and doing this residency model. and then somehow we got onto this thing and i remember something about… – at least this was in my thoughts now when i was thinking back on the proposition – about how it was interesting and helpful for me, very helpful to have this kind of hybrid mode, where you were able to learn by sort of – osmosis is not quite right – just by experiencing you working. so it's like a mixture of… maybe you were thinking out loud, or telling us about your ideas for your piece you were thinking about. and then also your comments on other people's pieces, but not just like comments in the sense of, like, thoughts and words, but also in the way you sort of were… i don't know, engaging with these things that were happening in the lab. exactly.
and then also there's another level of how you are organising or co-organising things, like shaping, but also this balance of shaping and coordinating, also letting things happen. yeah, so there was, like, these activities you were doing, and it was us or me experiencing that, and learning by experiencing – and i thought that was interesting.
at work is one level. it's just engaging – on a more direct level maybe – with artistic material or, yeah, material in the sense of movements, or observation, or sensing how things feel, or thinking something through on the level of content. and then there's a different layer which is this facilitation layer, which i think i was also always tuning into because I was also doing a lot of formats where i'm facilitating – or basically, in the course of the masters, i learned how to facilitate a workshop, for example, how to organize interactions in a group. and then I think this level was also interesting for me, which is somehow a little bit of this separate level, i mean, it's mixed together, because it was about collectivity as a content. yeah, i think that was interesting to me.
* about reflections.
what kind of reflection?
reflections of light and colour on a plexiglass surface.
and a bit more about self-reflection too.
* learning to trust, trust the process, even more than i already do,
listening and listening and listening – which i don’t do so well – and
taking it in. welcome the other and listen to their needs, listening to
myself too, but being less busy with dealing with myself...
* whether perfection is valuable
or worth pursuing
and what it does
to me
once i admit i cannot achieve
it
* as someone who enjoys being in solitary self-confinement, I
had to step out of my safe space. I learned or re-learned or
re-membered how to find comfort in togetherness and shared
spaces and shared ways of knowing, to collaborate, to
cooperate, to participate, to honor states of mutual
dependency.