◎SOIL◎
You’d think it’s would be an easy task to find rocks in a cemetery. Well, it’s not. There is not a single pebble in this graveyard. The wind’s going to ruin everything. The vases with the yellow roses… You can’t even have her picture there. Come on, there must be a fucking rock somewhere in here. Come on!
You give up. You’re too tired. You stay still for a while. It’s quite a sunny day, but windy. Still very good for... If such a thing exists.
– I can’t find any… you say to yourself, but you know it isn’t true. There must be some rocks and pebbles you can put in the vases to weight them down. You just have to go there. You mumble:
– I’m too scared. I’m too scared to even walk on past.19B
– Did you get any? - asks your Pa, and you shake your head no.
– Not yet, but I’ll get them in a minute.
It’s way harder for him, go on. So you walk to the grave.
It’s already opened up. Waiting for the ashes. And you see rocks around. And a few a bit further along too. You walk towards the ones that are farther away. It’s easier. You kneel down to get them.
Spasm.
From your guts, through your chest and shoulders, back up to your throat.
You dig your nails into the soil around the stones and start to dig them out. They aren’t actually stones. They are pieces of concrete. Concrete is the poor man’s tombstone marble.
Funny how people turn into things.
How deep can your fingers reach before they touch a bone? You know it’s silly, but still. You are interested. Maybe you’ll find a worm. This is a cool restaurant for them, hah?
Chalky pieces, dead insects, pebbles, rotting flower petals. But no bones.
No bones here.
Is cremation compatible with Christianity?
– Not that it’d matter.
You stand up with the stones you just dug out and realize, that soil has crept under your fingernails.