Taking off the mask: embracing vulnerability on stage

Marlon Valk

Many musicians think that experiencing and showing vulnerability is a weakness. I see it differently. To share our music with the world, without any assurance of acceptance or appreciation, is to be vulnerable; to be real, to choose courage over comfort, to take off your mask, is vulnerability. The exposure and risk we face, are not optional. In my own musical journey, I discovered that I cannot escape vulnerability on stage. What if embracing our vulnerability is key to convincing, yet authentic performances? This research is not about finding the magic solution for performance anxiety. It is not about avoiding vulnerability, but about embracing it. Embracing vulnerability starts with defining, recognizing and understanding it. That is exactly where this research started: a literature review was done and experts in the field of psychology were interviewed. This led to the design of strategies that can help embracing vulnerability when performing and when preparing a performance. These strategies are used in an intervention over 13 performances that have been documented with audio/video recordings, a journal and a self-questionnaire. Results show that performance preparation is a crucial element in dealing with vulnerability. Also, embracing vulnerability led to more experiences of ‘flow’, enhanced focus and increased trust in my abilities to perform music. Besides, I felt more authentic as a performer. These findings, although subjective, provide insights and strategies that could be of great benefit to other musicians.

Title page Introduction Theoretical Background Intervention Conclusion and Discussion Acknowledgements Appendixes Bibliography

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

First of all, I would like to express my gratitude to my supervisor, dr. Susan Williams. Thank you for all your time, your questions, answers and suggestions. Thank you for believing in my abilities. I feel blessed and honoured to have had you as my supervisor.

I also wish to express my deep gratitude to my main subject teacher, Lars Niederstrasser. I am beyond grateful for the safe place you create in our classes, a place where it is okay to be vulnerable. Thank you for your encouraging words, for shedding light on the processes going on and for pointing out my potential.

I would like to thank Wieke Karsten for the guidance and insights she gave me during the Master Circle meetings and the Applied Performance Science course she taught together with dr. Susan Williams.

I would like to thank Casper Schipper for his help with the research catalogue.

Thank you Elian van Dijk for the design of the figures.

A very big thank you to my friends Valerie, Anniek and Arieke. Thank you for helping me structuring my idea’s, thank you for your detailed and profound feedback, for helping me with my recordings, and most of all, thank you for always supporting me and cheering me on.

Tim, thank you for your help with my bibliography and for all the chocolate you provided to get me through the final stage.

Last but not least, I want to give thanks to my family. Thank you for all your support throughout my studies.

Tip

Tip

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS