While working upon the soliliquy 'to be, or not to be', I was confronted with the fact that my own personal opinion and thoughts were totally not in line with Hamlet's thoughts. Hamlet is meditating upon the possibillity of suicide. He is taking in consideration that exiting life could be a pathway towards leaving misery and shuffle off the suffering he is going through. I was confused, because on the one hand I am carrying a deep and intimate relation with the figure Hamlet, but on the other hand I cannot be in line with the question of suicide which he is pondering upon. The question is about life itself, the essence of being. How is it possible to actually perform and embody such question when the essence of it is in total opposition of what I essentially stand for? Suicide is not an option for me, not even the slightest doubt about it.
I was in dilemma, I couldn't continue working upon Hamlet like this, so I consulted Grotwoski's legacy upon this problem. Grotwoski's life long adagio was that the performers training first of all should be a process of stripping away, giving up what hides the images, feelings and the inner world we carry with us.
Inspired by Grotowski I tried something else. I decided to inhabit the solliloquy with my own, honest thoughts and feelings about Hamlet's question; I didn't change a word of the text, but fuelled it from within, intentionally with my own stand, a stand that is opposing my understanding of the text itself.
This practice opened a significant gate for me in understanding how the outside form of text and body could be best related with the inner world of the performer; a whole new universe appeared to me, a universe that allows me to find real presence and abillity to share what is going on with me as a person, instead of trying to be a representation of something that is not in line with who I am. From that moment on another Hamlet appeared, a Hamlet who is struggling with what he thinks, a Hamlet who rebels himself, a Hamlet who is aware of the dangers he ponders.
When I work with dancers and I see they are resisting textual or physical materials, I try to invite them to embrace the resistance they have with the materials, to let it happen and allow that flow of energy to influence the materials, until they establish a true relation with these materials. A resistance is an opposite feeling towards something, a 180 degrees feeling. The concept of 180 degrees became a new method for me to practice, apply and exercise in my creative process, as a performer and director.
In the process of creating the solo SHE with Joany, there was a significant point which illustrates the crucial function of the 180 degrees method.
I asked Joany to repeatedly hit an empty chair with a thick cotton rope; as violent as possible, collecting as much energy in her body as possible and direct it into her arms, through the rope and hit on the chair. Over and over... Somehow it didn't work, the hits were not really strong, not to the physical capacities of Joany, not convincing, weak. Then we decided to apply the 180 degrees concept. Joany approached the action with a feeling of care and love. This changed everything; her physical power increased drastically, she became stronger, her gesture of hitting was convincing, it became real, she became real, Joany appeared.
