Under the afternoon sun, the forest appeared entirely different than it did in the evening. Daylight obscures details which stand out clearly at night. The light makes the forest appear denser. Trees cluster together with entangling branches and long walls of undergrowth. In the glow of moonlight, the pale wood under broken bark shines like a beacon. By day it is but a spot of beige surrounded by saturated green and hues of earth-tones.
On the first night I had entered the forest by a path close to the graveyard St. Petrus Banden. But when I entered on my bike in the afternoon, I went around the forest, ending up back at the graveyard without having found the trees. To find the site again I would have to retrace our steps from the night before. I left my bike close to the graveyard and attempted to find the path we had walked. I knew approximately in which direction we went, and that we tended to choose the narrow paths over the wide ones. There were also a couple of landmarks, or moments, we encountered the night before by which I could find my way again. The first was a kind of campsite, with the ashes of a fireplace and a scaffolding-like construction between a few trees, made of thick branches held together with nails. The second was a moment we suddenly found ourselves by the highway, which I remembered because we hesitated before turning in another direction. By way of these places I did eventually find the site. However, I never managed to find a direct route to the dead trees during my visits there. Every time I went there, I somehow fumbled my way on different paths. Since my second visit I have found more landmarks that tell me where I must walk. The landmarks include a bench carved from a tree trunk, a tree growing at a 70-degree angle in the middle of a path and a large area of skinny trees that grow very close to the dead trees.
I drew the map (figure 10) to remember how to find the site. Naturally, the map does not correspond to the real measurements of the area. It is a map of my impression of the distances between things. To anyone else it would be useless, but it helped me as it corresponded with the map in my mind. From the first time I visited the trees until now, I have yet to discern exactly where on the map they would be located. Point A, B and C are locations where I thought they might be, with point C being the most recent and precise. I still have doubts as to their exact location. The paths I took when attempting to find the site on my second visit are shown as dotted lines, with the two landmarks pointed out. Regardless of the map, I kept losing my way in the forest. Especially on returning from the site I would become completely disoriented. When going there I would be primarily occupied with finding the trees. But when I left the site, my attention would be with the result of what I had done. Without focusing on where I was going, the writhing paths of the forest became a maze. More than once did I resign myself to locating the highway and walking all the way around the forest to find my way home.
