Conclusion
I have walked a long path in search for ways to reach a for me more complete and fulfilling form of artistic expression. Every step brought me closer to my goal. Experimentation and exploration with multiple media have been the method and foundation of my creative process. They have allowed to expand my performance palette and to develop a personal language; my own language of confluent tones, words and visual art. I feel enriched by doing this research, and it has led to the creation of entirely new work such as Stilstaan in de wolken where I merge my composed and newly self-created music, text and visual elements.
I deeply explored the connection between different media. I created my own music and sound world with the use of my clarinet, field recordings and my voice. For the first time, I created works in which text and music are present at the same time instead of alternating between the two of them. Additionally, I have introduced photographs and video material in my practice and combined it with the two other media music and text. I have also explored scenographic elements such as the connection between video projection, the position of the performer and the lighting in the performance space.
It was somehow for me as a classically trained clarinetist a difficult path to write my own music. Eventually it felt so liberating. To create something myself, all the way me, just me. I came to know myself better as a performer, artist and as a person. At times, it was difficult for me to trust. To trust on what I create. That it would be of value to other people. For me it does not feel comparable to performing. As a performer I have a score to hang on to. It feels very different to create something of my own instead of just interpreting someone else's music. Reflecting about the nature of my relationship to music led me as an interpreter to reflect about the relationship between the composer and myself. It made me aware of the difficulty of finding a good balance between the composer's intentions and my own artistic intentions. Creating my own music could free me from this.
This process has also taught me a lot in terms of performance skills and techniques. For instance, by performing my own work by heart, I could connect more with the audience because there was nothing, like a music stand that sometimes may feel like a wall in between me and the audience, that hindered the connection and by that I felt more free in communicating. Performing Stilstaan in de wolken in Studio Loos was a special, beautiful and memorable moment to me. I will keep continuing my artistic exploration in music and other media and I hope I inspired other artists to do the same.