References:
[1]Hans-Georg, Gadamer. Truth and Method. Sheed & Ward Ltd and the Continuum Publishing Group. Bloomsbury, 1975&1989. E-Book.
[2]Emily Dickinson. Poems: Packet XXIII If your Nerve, deny you.Cambridge, MA: Houghton Library, Harvard University, ca. 1861.
[3]Emily, Dickinson. 1856. The Letters.emilydickinson.it. Giuseppe Ierolli. http://www.emilydickinson.it/l0181-0200.html(Accessed 2018-12-20)
[4]Brown. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead,41-42
Almost immediately after starting my Master’s program in Autumn 2018, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called interstitial cystitis which is a chronic pain bladder syndrome. Fortunately, on the spectrum of pain I have what seems to be a mild case, but it has nonetheless had a huge impact on how I go about my life. As the saying goes, health is wealth and I certainly have been humbled to that phrase.
In actuality, this new low would force me to reassess my values as a filmmaker, my limitations and what I was willing to pursue even if it meant failure. This required me to be brutally honest, critically look how I much I wanted to invest in a project and why. Could I sustain two years of a project that might eat at me personally, when I already felt so drained? What could I do with this academic platform that I do have? What’s important to me as a filmmaker, and can the next project give me energy rather than leave me running on empty? And lastly, what kind of film would I want to contribute to in the landscape of documentaries?
“The nature of all art, as (Friedrich) Hegel formulated it, is that it ‘presents man with himself.’” [1]
As a filmmaker and storyteller, myself with a background in dance and theatre, I truly believe that everyone has a story. Wherever the journey of life takes you, there is no doubt humbling circumstances will bring you to your knees whether it be the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a grave diagnosis of health, or natural disasters – we are unequivocally unable to avoid tragedy in life. As one of my characters in my film, Rubyanna Mahina says, “Terrible things happen to great people, and bad things happen to everyone.” You cannot run away from the cruelty of life and it’s only a matter of time until something comes up cyclically to humble you once again.
