*six inch heels by beyonce plays loudly through distorted speakers in the background*
hello ur feeling sad? oh no well let’s fix that here take this pill it’ll make u happy so that u can go back to work u should rly go back to work until u feel the same way that u do right now we’ll call it a good tired from a healthy days work oh no u seem distracted are u having a hard time focusing when at work here take this pill too it’ll keep u focused wow great work if u keep that up we’ll give u a raise and u can feel a sense of purpose and pride bc u kno do what u love love what u do that’s a lovely idea but didn’t they reach u in school that romanticism is over it’s ok to not love what u do that why it’s called work if u work hard enough u will be able to afford what u love n once u can pay for that then u will be able to enjoy the fruits of ur labor ur finally there u should be really proud of urself u should be proud of ur work this is a huge milestone u have made so much progress ur working so hard u deserve to be rewarded u should go treat urself after work u kno splurge or something maybe u could get that new smartphone everyone at work has one the latest version just came out didn't u get my email u really need to upgrade it will be helpful anyways u need to be better about ur emails for work u kno they get mad when u don’t respond right away go back to work stop making excuses u got a new job at that startup ur so lucky they’re very progressive there’s a wellness center in there it’s on the third floor there was an email about it didn't u get it u look kinda out of it have you been feeling a little flat lately are u taking ur meds before u go to work why don’t u try yoga after work u can get a discounted membership to this gym through work ur still feeling off there are group mindfulness sessions to help w that at work since ur here u should rly buy these crystals they’ll absorb ur feelings of emptiness fill in the blanks replace them with a mindset of clarity u can call urself empowered expel the negativity attract joy increase creativity increase productivity bring u peace keep u grounded reconnect mind to body u kno its all about changing ur state of mind that’ll be 39.95 ill see u at our next session.
sorry, we don’t take insurance.
