The choreography begins with a solo. The audience enters from the back door on stage. They can walk next and around the dancer which is illuminated by a soft white sidelight which emphasises her figure. She starts dancing. At the end of her solo, the music stops and the lights go off. The stage remains dark and silent while a male voice starts reading a text. The audience can sit down. End scene 1.
A Tourette Poem
I feel the urge to move throughout my body
I hear the thoughts begin in my mind
“Just let it out, it will feel better”
“Do it again, that wasn’t right”
My body is something I should control
It’s something I shouldn’t be afraid of.
But, my power to control is lost
And I am forced to accept my battle.
I move in ways I never want to do
My eyes blink, my feet kick, my head flicks
My stomach tightens and my breath shortens
The tic feels complete at least for now.
The exhaustion sets in as the day ends,
But that doesn’t stop my body from moving
And I’ve lost all control.
Sometimes the day ends in tears
While I lie on the couch in frustration.
I close my eyes and take a breath
And hope for a better day tomorrow.
Not every day is like this
Some days are really great,
Without any movement but my own
I feel powerful and strong.
But, even on the bad days
Something tells me that I am stronger.
I am stronger than I think I am
and maybe I have a purpose.
The reason may not be clear now
But I know it will be someday.
My disorder is part of me
But I am so much more than that.
Britney Wolf
This solo was developed from the concept of being inside an individual's head. The contrast between confusion and order thought and words, movement, and stillness were used as a starting point for the elaboration of the scene. The music is composed using the poem by Britney Wolf. The recorded voice was modified by adding an echo, putting it back, and adding some sounds like sneezing and sighing creating a buzz in which some words can be understood like in a stream of consciousness.
This solo is deliberately left very open. The task given to the dancer was to improvise using the text 'A Tourette poem' as inspiration and guide. Given the situation of Covid-19, the dancer filmed every improvisation she did and sent it to the choreographer. Once the videos were viewed and discussed together, the choreographer decided to have the dancer write her text to use as a guide. The choreographer asked the dancer to focus on the sensation of tension in the body, contrasting movements, and pulse. This solo has, therefore, become a guided improvisation that could be recreated similarly to the original but never identical by following the two texts.
MUSIC
The music was created using the text read by the voice put backward and some sounds similar to those emitted by those with Tourette's syndrome have been added such as sneezing, cracking bones, and sighs.
Solo 1
I start to move my body gently and I imagine water moving in my body
first in the stomach, then flowed into the arms until it reaches the end of my body.
I move softly and I feel relaxed.
I let go my arm, I drop them and use some energy to throw them, slowly changin the quality of movement from soft to sharp and soft again.
I alternate those qualities, playing with my body.
While I am immerse in the movement I let of part of my body move suddenly, I surprise myself.
Every part of the body matters, the arm, the hips, the knees, the elbow.
I let parts of my body 'run away' from me and I have no longer control of it.
My body is water, it moves calmly and then it explodes.
Elisa Fagnano
Picture credit to Impwork