PAN-ic, AMNESIA & CHEAT by Karolina Kucia

Hello! Honestly… I wasn’t sure wheater there is anything that makes sense to propose to you from this distance. I don’t know how are you doing? I am ok. I am reading a bit more those days, although something else than I should be reading. Writing a bit more, although something else than I should be writing. I am in a state of illusion that this simplified state of living/working could lead to some clarity in thinking, or that this clarity in thinking would be needed more than ever. The future looks scary. Or it doesn’t look at all. Wouldn’t it be great to be somehow prepared? I wish it would be possible to make sense of this situation collectively. But it is not possible, and it doesn’t seem to work to connect either. I believe it is better to work alone now, acknowledge this impossibility, not try too hard. Perhaps just to remember, there might be someone, besides. On your side. And on the side of you. Para-site in the sense of not being the same and neither them nor you being the one. Ever. Accompanied by someone, something, you don’t know what… is it in your favour or not…? This is an exercise in writing, writing alone, writing at the same time, no one writing and co-writing. This exercise contains invitations to text three monsters, three little helpers: PAN-ic, AMNESIA & CHEAT: the sense of panic, a state of amnesia and guilt of imposter. The entrance is here.

Shhh. From now on, whatever happens here, no one can say this worked, no one can say, we were in the lockdown, we couldn’t meet, university and research centre were closed, but still we made ways to be together, to work.

New ways.

No, we didn’t. We are not together. If something works, we will use it, but we will keep quiet about that.

Promise me.

OK?

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