5.4.4. Execution of Habanera in a stressful situation (STEP 5)
The only step of my study plan I did not execute yet until now is STEP 5. I believe this to be the most crucial step in order to give an answer to my research question. I arranged a pianist (Johannes Asfaw), booked a room and asked some students from the Royal Conservatory to come and watch, to create a situation which looks in a way similar to e.g. a recital or masterclass. Fajo was also present to watch and observe. The results of the recording from this session (see Habanera 2) were compared with an older recording of mine (see Habanera 1) which was meant for an audition. I remembered that in Habanera 1 I felt a bit tense and the pianist and I had to do more than five takes until I was happy with the result. In Habanera 2 we did some warming up with the singing, but the recording with audience we did only once.
Observations from Fajo in Habanera 1:
“In the beginning of the video your body looks quite stable. I see you try to ground. However, to me it seems that the energy you try to use for your singing stays in your feet. You do not have the tools yet to pull the energy from out of the ground to make your singing more credible. Especially from 02:00 minutes I see a feeling of discomfort in the body. The arms become a bit more tensed. Also, the 5th position of your feet (that is how we call this position in dancing) gives you a feeling of instability. They look glued to the floor, but without vividness or life in them. The way your feet stand and how you divide your weight on them makes that your lower back becomes more locked. You need to use the space from your lower back in singing, am I right? From the centre to the ground there is also no energy. The legs seem a bit detached from the rest from the body. However, compared to all other video’s you showed me, your posture here is the most relaxed one and it definitely improved already over the years!”
Through the knowledge I gained these past few weeks I now have a better understanding what Fajo means with these comments. I indeed can create more space now in my lower back if I change the position of the feet to a first position as they call it in dancing (the feet are parallel, facing forward). Throughout the years, singing teachers also wanted me to stand like this while singing, but at that time I felt it locked my body instead of helping me to open it. Now that I am further along in my development I am starting to feel how this position could be of benefit for my singing.
In addition, I would like to add that now that I have experienced the benefit of standing solidly on both legs it enhances even more strongly the idea that performance practices for physical expression in the Baroque may not be the best ways to create a strong inner connection to what one says in singing today. I mentioned in section 3.1 that “it was suggested that singers should place their bodyweight on one leg, allowing the other limb to stay relaxed so that it was prepared for an immediate change to occur. This caused a continuous movement in which the bodyweight shifted from one leg to the other.” Although I do not completely reject the idea that in singing you can shift your weight from one leg to the other, I think that in order to create free movements with the arms it is better to feel as grounded as possible by standing solidly on both legs. Of course, because gestures were not individual but more universal and pre-rehearsed in those days it is also understandable that one was not seek a personal experience in grounding and inner body flow.
Observations from Fajo in Habanera 2:
“The differences seem to me not extreme big in comparison to Habanera 1, but that is because Habanera 1 was already of quite good level. However, I do see you have more freedom in the body! The arms move more organic, they contribute in a natural way to the content of what you sing about [thus they are meaningful]. Also, there is a stronger energy in the body. Sometimes you forgot your feet [grounding] and head [attachment to the ceiling] a little bit which caused that the shoulders came up slightly. Your eyes were much more alive than in the Habanera 1. You have a better sense of space and of the public, which you always should pay attention to! This is a very important aspect to incorporate in your practising. Never directly look at them but show with your physical presence that you know they are there and that you sing for them. In this way you also train yourself to invite the people to look at you; you become more confident. This you already do way much better in Habanera 2 than in Habanera 1. In the 1th Habanera it looked like you held back a bit; that you did not dare to let go. However, in the Habanera 2 I still recognise this a little bit. I think you can even go out more; loosen up your body, but to get to this point it takes time and practise! Do not forget we only worked on this for a month! Keep up the good work!"
Observations from the public:
“The movements you made with your hands and body seemed just fine! Not too much not too little. You showed just enough to give us a hint about what the character of Carmen is. The overall performance was pleasant to watch.” One little clue they gave was: “Do not lose the energy in the eyes when you have a pause in your singing. It did not happen all the time, but sometimes the energy became a bit less. This caused that your presence was a bit weaker. However, the body did not collapse. You kept an active posture throughout the whole piece”.
Personal observations:
Comparing how I felt when singing Habanera 1 and 2, I notice quite a big difference. Habanera 1 was recorded on 19-12-2019. This was not so long ago. However the difference, due to Fajo’s exercises and my study plan, feel quite big. I experienced a warm feeling most of the time throughout my whole body. I felt I could also shift my focus from the frontside of my body more to the back side, so that I felt a stronger centre line. Of course, some old habits came back. Like Fajo said, the shoulders became a bit locked sometimes and I also went back now and then to the 5th position with my feet. But overall, I felt much more free than I usually feel when I perform for an audience. Also, I experienced a deeper inner feeling from which the urge or impulse to express myself came. Furthermore, normally my arms would become tensed if I wanted to express myself better. As Fajo called this: “You want to show in your arms too much about what you are telling”. By shifting my main focus to a sensation in my back, I could conduct my energy better into my arms whereby they became softer in their movements and more relaxed. I prepared physically with the exercises of TRIAL 9 before we recorded Habanera 2. In addition, I spoke the text while rubbing my back and buttocks against an imaginary wall (see TRIAL 12). Furthermore, I made funky and swinging movements with my arms and body while speaking and singing the text. During the recording, I reminded myself of the actions I warmed up with, which therefore triggered a physical sensation in certain body parts. This made it easier for me to direct my focus to these areas.
I would like to make a small comment regarding why I choose the recording of Habanera for this research. Of course, I could have picked many other videos, some of which show even greater problems in my physical expression. For example, in VIDEO 4, which I recorded in the beginning of 2019, my physical problems are much more apparent. Here you can see a good example of ‘penguin arms’ or ‘flapping arms’. I remember how stressed I was in this recording regarding my vocal technique. Some elements did not go the way I wanted them to go. Also, I felt deeply nervous because it was important that the recording would be successful. In this past year I developed technically in such a way that the body also became more solid and free. This is why the Habanera 1 is already a much better example of how I should move and stand in my singing. However, as I discovered with Fajo, there are still elements I can work on. My theory was that if I would pick a more recent recording to use as comparison the effect of my study plan could be tested even better. If I could not find any differences at all between my first and second recording this would already say a lot about the method itself. Although, I could have said in that case: ‘The amount of time I used in order to see effective results was too little’. However, fortunately, even though Fajo and I worked for a short amount of time together, there were already some visible improvements in my second recording of the Habanera. I am very happy with the result.
Of course, it must be said that I cannot conclude from my findings that my study plan itself is solely responsible for these improvements. All the elements Fajo brought into it should not be forgotten! I think that especially due to his contribution the results of my study plan became positive.
Thus, the results of the comparison between the recordings of Habanera 1 and 2 are positive. There is indeed a visible difference in how I express myself physically in Habanera 2 (my most recent video recording). Therefore, I conclude that the work Fajo and I did together these past few months was fruitful. I managed to create meaningful gestures and, if I believe my audience, I also did not create any meaningless gestures. Also, the fact that I only made one video in the session where I recorded Habanera 2, compared to the amount of recordings I had to make for Habanera 1, shows that there is also a difference in how quickly I now can get into the right mode for singing when I have to perform well on the spot.