5.4.3. Second SP-session: Testing my method
Two weeks later Fajo and I explored for a second time my study plan. Fajo made some new observations which are of great value. Unfortunately, not everything is recorded, due to technical issues. Also, we skipped the in-between steps we did in trial 5 and 8 due to the lack of time.
TRIAL 9: Before we started to work on my method, I warmed up my body with some of Fajo’s exercises, making this my routine. I explained in my own words how each movement should be executed. Fajo gave me the instruction to explain everything out loud, so he could see if I understood the execution and purpose of each exercise. Fajo was happy with the result.
TRAIL 10 – STEP 2: We began accidently with STEP 2 (physical expression with speech). I wanted to show the character of Carmen more in my expression than in the previous session with Fajo.
In trial 10 I mention: ‘I want to show the character of Carmen’. According to Fajo I do this too literally. I really ‘show’ how Carmen moves. Fajo believes that I have too much an idea of what I want; how things should look. This is something he already noticed when we started our sessions (see also his comments in VIDEO 2 in 5.3.2.). Fajo realised that this probably is the reason that my upper body becomes tensed and wants to express itself too much. In trial 10 Fajo noticed some of the same aspects he saw before in trial 1 and 2 (too much focus at the front of the body; starting to lean forward). However, Fajo mentioned that my physical alignment and sensation of body flow already improved since our first SP-session.
I learned from my previous SP-session and the present session that the hindrances I just mentioned happen due to the fact that my breath cannot be released through the legs into the ground. Next to this, they occur because my connection with the soles of my feet and the back of my body is not strong enough. In order to fix these hindrances I should bring my focus to my feet and back of the body. To shift my focus these places in the body a sensation should be felt. This sensation can be trained, which is something I already did extensively for the soles of the feet (see the exercises in video 1). Only, for the back of my body the only exercise until now was to imagine as if I pulled up a cylinder around myself, to get a feeling of three dimensions (see trial 3). In trial 12 Fajo gives me another clue to create more sensation in the back of my body.
TRIAL 11 – STEP 2: Before we did trail 12, Fajo gave me an exercise which we unfortunately did not record. In this exercise I had to speak the text of the Habanera aloud and at the same time I had to act as if I was doing the dishes. I was amazed by the effect this had on my speaking voice and the way I spoke the text in comparison to trial 10. It can be noticed that, in trial 12, the speaking voice sounds much richer than in trial 10. The reason for this, as Fajo said, is because the body gets a task to do: something physical, making it feeling free. Therefore, the voice becomes more free as well, because restrictions in the muscles of body diminish (including the muscles you use for singing).
TRIAL 12 – STEP 2: Fajo asked me to focus on: ‘Giving the breath back to the floor’. Here I should instantly feel the soles of my feet better. In addition, I had to scratch my shoulder, back and buttocks against an imaginary wall. This in order to get more in contact with the back of my body.
TRIAL 13 – STEP 2: Fajo noticed in trial 12 that my eyes were focused on the ground or closed. He knew of course that this happened because I was focussing on the sensation in my back. However, in a performance I of course cannot shut my eyes. I should involve the public in my story. The next exercise he gave was to involve the public by looking at them, but to keep at the same time my attention with the back of my body. I had to imagine I was scratching an imaginary wall. I was allowed to move a little bit, but not as much as in trial 12.
TRIAL 14 – STEP 1: We went back to STEP 1 (expressing the text without speaking). Again, I had to instruct myself to focus on something else (the feet or back of my body). Here I focus mainly on my back.
TRIAL 15 – STEP 3: I went on with STEP 4 (speaking the text at the rhythm of the music).
Personal observations until now:
Compared to my first SP-session I felt in the second SP-session already much more grounded. Other observations were that I leaned less forward, there was a sensation of more space in the body and a stronger sense of inner body-flow, while my arms looked more connected to the soles of my feet.
When I focused on the back of my body or to the soles of my feet, the urge of using my arms became reduced. Therefore, my gestures became less frequent and also smaller. We both agreed that they became more nuanced and more pleasant to watch than the ones before. If trial 1 until 5 is compared with trial 14 and trial 6 with trial 10 until 13, this difference is obvious. Furthermore, I experienced that in trial 12 and 13 there was not really as much of an urge to remind myself of all the physical focus points (see 5.4.2.) as compared to trial 10, 14 and 15. This results from the exercises Fajo gave me: I had to focus on other things. Lastly, it felt pleasant to do not all the STEPS in the original order (1 until 5). I experienced that by doing STEP 1 after STEP 2 that I had a stronger physical sensation than in trial 1 until 4. It was nice to notice this difference.
TRIAL 16 – STEP 3/4: Fajo asked me to speak and sing rhythmically alternately aloud the text in the rhythm while I made funky movements with my body on the rhythm.
TRIAL 17 – STEP 4: Eventually we came to STEP 4 and Fajo ordered me to imagine making these funky movements while singing without actually doing them, and we did this two times. After the first trial Fajo additionally gave me a hint to focus more on my feet, because I tended to forget them a bit.
I concluded after both trials that my body felt much more free and that I had a stronger physical sensation with what I said than I experienced in trial 7 and 8. Fajo confirmed this observation and explained the theory behind it: the purpose of the exercises we did in trial 6 (making big gestures), trial 11 (doing the dishes), trial 12 and 13 (scrubbing the back against a wall), and trial 16 (making funky movements) was to 'broaden my margin'. As Fajo says:
“By doing different physical actions when you speak out or sing a the text, you create different physical sensations with it. Subsequently you can access these physical sensations during singing by thinking of the action belonging to it. In this way you create a wide palette of physical sensations your body can always lean on when it gets stuck or when you need inspiration for a certain character. You almost never access all the physical sensations you studied when you perform, because you probably will not need all of them to express your text. This is why I call it ‘broadening of the margin’. The margin is only the physical sensation (or sensations) you need in an aria or Lied. By broadening your margin, you become less fixed on the physical sensations only needed to express a text. If you would only focus on practising the physical sensations needed in your piece there is a fair chance you become too much fixed on what you are physically doing (or think of what you physically should do). As I concluded earlier in your case, when you think too much about how you want to execute something you create physical tension and thus less freedom in the body. Therefore, I think it is important for you to broaden your margin as much as you can in order to feel physically free and as I assume also to feel much more secured in what you do on stage. I know for sure this will have a positive effect on how you place your gestures.”
Fajo advised me to create scenarios in my practising room like: ‘Carmen handing out flowers to everyone; Carmen walking towards men and seducing them; Carmen sitting down and helping the other women with their work et cetera’. Fajo said I can also broaden my margin with this. I would like to add that these actions are not always coherent with the content of what I am singing about. I never thought that it would be important to practise all these different actions, because I would not sing the Habanera in a recital and mime handing out flowers. However, Fajo showed me that it is important to train these elements in the practising room.
If I describe in my own words what I learned regarding training myself to create different sensations in order to shift focus to the regions I should feel in order to create natural gestures, I would name this ‘the training of the physical imaginary’. You train the body to become acquainted with physical sensations by imagining the corresponding action. This physical sensation of the action becomes even stronger if the action itself also has an imaginary component into it. Take for example the exercise where Fajo asked me to rub my back and buttocks against an ‘imaginary wall’. Fajo could have also asked me to do this literally. I think that by adding already this component of imagination into the action, which supports a physical sensation, you already help the mind to strengthen its imaginative capacity. Based on my own experience, this idea of physical imaginary is not used by voice teachers in the way Fajo taught me. Often voice teachers ask a singer to feel their back or feet more in order to ground themselves better or to create more air in the lungs. However, I never experienced a teacher giving me exercises like Fajo's in order to help me achieve what they asked for. I think it would be interesting for voice teachers to incorporate this idea of the physical imaginary into lessons to create new ways of helping students become more aware of the parts in their body while singing.
Conclusions from SP-session 1 and SP-session 2:
After our second SP-session Fajo and I discussed what I learned from everything we did until now. I said I learned that the embodiment of gestures only works under two circumstances: 1) you need to know how to place your gestures correctly. I learned by working on my grounding and inner-body flow that my gestures should be initiated from the soles of my feet. The energy for my gestures must be pulled from the ground. In addition, there should be a stronger connection to the back of my body to experience a feeling of three-dimensionality. This three-dimensional feeling helps to relieve the tension in the upper body (especially at the front side) and therefore makes my gestures less forced and freer. They become more natural and pleasant to watch. 2) I realise that the structure of my study-plan is one-dimensional. I should add to each STEP different physical sensations to broaden the margin when expressing the text. Feeling physically more secure on stage and creating a stronger physical sensation with the text will not be enhanced by speaking or miming the text each time with the same physical sensation (as I do in my study plan). By focusing in my STEPS each time on almost the same physical focus points (see 5.4.2.) I narrow my margin instead of broadening it.
Fajo agreed with my observations and added the following to this conversation:
“Keep in mind that my exercises are not the only ones to can broaden your margin with. You can also do this by speaking the text in different rhythms, in your mind, out loud, soft, hard, fast, slow et cetera. Furthermore, you can also do this by singing a piece in different ways. For example, by singing it more jazzy, fast, slow, in a lower or higher key et cetera. You even told me yourself in the second SP-session that singers broaden their margin when they train their coloratura. They sing coloratura in different rhythms to get technically more stable and therefore they create a feeling of trust with what they are doing. Some of the elements I mentioned you incorporate already in your study plan. Especially in step 1,2 and 3. With these steps you broaden your margin in speaking the text in different ways. However, these actions do not immediately create a strong physical connection to the text. Therefore, your gestures are not as free as you want them to be in your method. In your method you incorporate only one element in finding a stronger physical connection with the text and that is by using physical focus-points. I think that if you keep doing the exact same steps in your method over and over again for a longer period of time and do not add a deeper layer of physical sensation to each step, your gestures will not entirely free up. My advice to you is to make deeper physical associations with the text in each of your STEPS in order to create a strong affinity with what you are saying. The more access you have to various and different physical sensations, the more you can fall back on them which gives a feeling of security and also ensures that you stay physically stronger connected to a text.”
Thus in order to strengthen my physical expression, I need to broaden my margin in every step of my study plan. I can do this by creating various scenarios in which I for example speak the words and make physical movements at the same time. The result of this is that my body becomes more free and secured in what it does. Therefore, my gestures also will become more free and natural.
In addition, what I discovered until now supports what I mentioned in 2.5.3: ‘I think that the embodiment of gestures in my practicing would make me feel more secure on stage as well’. Due to what I have learned from Fajo I probably would change ‘embodiment of gestures’ to ‘embodiment of various physical sensations with the text’.
In addition, I would also like to come back to something I said in Chapter 4. I stated that seeking the right movements when practicing lyrics and melody strongly contributes to a convincing and credible performance in singing, rather than a static posture by not moving the arms, hands or any other body part. Although Fajo did not deliberately work with me on keeping my arms still, some of the exercises resulted in a reduction in my arms' tendencies to move, while still feeling free in the body. Even though my arms were hanging next to my body doing nothing, Fajo still saw 'life' in them, as he called it, because he could see that I conducted the energy from my inner body flow into my arms. Therefore, I would now like to add to my previous statement that when the arms and hands are held still it does not necessarily have to mean that they become static. If the energy in my body is right and also directed into my arms, my arms still can look alive. I wonder if this is maybe what teachers actually hoped to achieve when they asked me to hold my arms still in order to find a deeper connection from within my body with the text. If this is the case, then I think that holding the arms still when singing could be achieved by some of the tools Fajo handed to me during our collaboration. Although, I still do not think that this supports the idea of teachers who proclaim that you are only truly connected to a text if you are able to hold your arms and hands still while singing, because I did not feel a strong difference between the moments when I did not use my arms, or when I did, in my speaking or singing. I think that it does not make a difference whether or not you can hold your arms still while singing. I would suggest instead that as long as you can create and conduct an inner energy you automatically create a stronger physical affinity with the text.