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[SCHOOL] Thesis of the Royal Academy of Art, The Hague 2023 [DEPARTMENT] BA Fine Arts This paper delves into a deep exploration of the intersectionality of gender, sexuality, and identity of the transsexual woman, through a deeply personal narrative of self-reflection and critical inquiry. It confronts the societal constructs and power dynamics that shape the experiences of transgender women, particularly focusing on the themes of consumption, agency, and abjection within patriarchal structures. Drawing inspiration from the reflections of prominent transgender theorists and activists like Julia Serrano, Hunter Schafer and Susan Stryker, I navigate through the complexities of transitioning and self-discovery, weaving together philosophical insights with lived experiences. The paper investigates the constitutive nature of language and discourse in the formation of subjectivity, emphasizing the traumatic yet empowering effects of interpellation and performativity. Furthermore, it examines the abjectification of transgender bodies within societal norms and the dichotomy of desire and shame inherent in the construction of feminine identity. By engaging with concepts of transgression and phenomenology, the paper challenges traditional notions of gender and sexuality, offering a nuanced understanding of transgender embodiment as both a site of resistance and reclamation. Through intimate diary notes and theoretical discourse, I invite readers to confront the complexities of transgender existence and the transformative power of self-affirmation amidst societal erasure and increasing marginalization through out the western world. Ultimately, this paper seeks to foster dialogue and understanding surrounding transgender female experiences, advocating for a deeper understanding of the becoming and the constitution of becoming a woman, the sexual and social consequences and I hope the reader discovers parallels to their own existence and the sexualisation and constitution of it oneself.
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